Medication often takes a while for the body to process and get accustomed to, which means that an anti-depressant dosage change is no different. I wanted to wait for a while before posting an update to see how my body and mind processed this change. Going from 25 mg to 50 mg may not seem like a lot, but it was definitely a process my body had to go through.
The first week was rough. I felt even more disconnected and depressed. I also suffered through terrible migraines and insomnia. It almost made me want to throw in the towel with the process of changing over as lack of sleep creates huge problems for me emotionally. Thankfully and serendipitously my husband had requested vacation weeks ago for this exact same time. Without him being here, this would have been a whole lot harder.
The second week, I found things were better. My headaches had dissipated and I was beginning to feel like my emotions were more under my control. Sleep issues were still a small problem, but I also can attribute that to my caffeine consumption and the fact that when Ben wakes up to eat I generally will balance my tablet on my lap and peruse Facebook or Instagram while he eats. (Otherwise I am sitting in the creepy dark!)
One thing that I have noticed though, is that I am either carrying quite a bit of excess water OR I am gaining weight. I am having to swallow my sadness and guilt over that, as I know I will just need to work a little harder while on my path to becoming more healthy.
I will have to share more updates on my progress next week, as I will be going through an extremely emotional time starting on Saturday. You see, after seven years of heartache…tears…and even some anger, my son will be moving in with me and my family. Words cannot even express the broad range of emotions that flood my entire being whenever I think of my little boy actually living with me. It is so much to take in, that it is actually happening. I am just in absolute emotional shock, but in a good way.