Dizziness…so bad that the room feels in constant motion and I wobble like a sailor back on land after months at sea. Focusing has become so hard, my vision blurry and my concentration broken. Breathing is even hard at times, with my brain seemingly forgetting to take those deep breaths we all need to function.

A quick text to a friend and I am off to the Emergency Room, where I immediately hit the floor upon entering the waiting room, my vision going black.

Confusion.

Then I’m being pulled into a wheelchair, moved into a room, and hooked up to machines and IVs.

Fear.

Tests, so many tests are run without any true answers. So they pump me full of a bag of fluid and some dizziness medication. I can feel that it is working, but I know it is a band aid fix.

Exhaustion.

In the end, I am left with more questions than answers. Upon awakening the next morning I am faced with a wall of sheer exhaustion and that now ever present feeling of motion and dizziness. Is this my new normal?

Determination.

My health is important to me. Mental, Emotional/Spiritual, and Physical health all exist together to help make me the best Bella I can be. So far…all three are taking a bit of a hit and I am really feeling the strain. But I will find a way to overcome and heal. I must.