Recently, I have had more than a few close friends and relatives go through some incredibly tough times. Some involved potential sexual abuse, and another had a mental breakdown due to substance abuse. Some of these days were so hard on any and all involved that emotions ran extremely raw. Helping my family and friends through these times has also brought something to my attention. My mental health needed some major TLC.
Night terrors, imagined “bad guys” lurking in my home, panic attacks. These have gotten so much worse due to the emotional upheaval that I have been through. Instead of the occasional panic attack, I have been having them almost daily. Instead of the occasional restless night due to night terrors or insomnia…it has become every night occurrence.
I feel like someone has run a cheese grater over my psyche and I am left dealing with the aftermath. Which has honestly been a lot harder than I can even understand. So today I took the first step in making sure that for the long run, I am taking care of myself and my unique set of circumstances and sought additional help through Veterans Affairs.
By taking this step, I have ensured that I will continue to be a good wife, mother, and friend. Because in order to do all of that, I need to take care of myself too. Seeking help is perhaps one of the hardest parts of living with mental illness. You have to open yourself up, tell yet another person some of your deepest darkest hurts and how they still haunt you. Even harder yet is trying to navigate the way through yet another discovery journey on what will help you best this time around.
It will take some time, but sooner or later we will find something that helps me heal. So if you find yourself in this same situation, take the steps you need to find your way back to YOU.