The internet is full of marriage advice. Some good, some bad, and some very bad. I do not claim to be Mrs. #1 Wife of the Year, but I do know that my husband and I find a great deal of happiness in our marriage. And much of that is because we have a few simple rules that we live by.
1. Do not swear at each other in anger.
If we would not say it to a friend, an acquaintance, employee, employer, etc…then we do not say it to each other. There is no “you are a fucking tool!” Or “shut the fuck up” in our house. We are each other’s partners, the person each chose to be their one and only. Why tarnish that with ugly words that once spoken, can never be taken back. Instead, we choose to have adult discussions on why we are upset. Angry words and actions are things you can never take back.
2. Make time for each other.
Man, having four kids has really cramped our style. Long gone are the days where we could zoom off to Six Flags or spend a night out singing Karaoke. BUT, we do our best to make even the smallest of moments together special. After the kids go to bed is the best time for us. We will sit, chat, play video games, drink a beer, or engage in extracurriculars. 😎 That and we have an amazing friend that we swap babysitting with. Sort of an I scratch your back you a scratch mine agreement that is wonderful for both of our families!
3. Have some S-E-X.
Yes, sex. Marriage, for people in relationships with “normal” sex drives, is a big part of keeping intimacy alive. Physical affection and touch awaken certain parts of ourselves that lead to a happier state of being. I mean who doesn’t love how they feel after a damn good O with their lover? For a long time, my husband and I almost had a fear of sex. Heck, when you have three back to back pregnancies as a result from birth control failures…ya kinda don’t want to do the nasty. But, when we make time for sex, I always feel more connected with my husband as well as if I could take on the day. It’s amazing what an orgasm (or two, or three) will do for your mental health!
4. Be open and honest.
You see it often in sitcoms. The wife is pissed, but instead of having a good line of communication with her husband she says “Nothing” in response to a question about what’s wrong. This is awful! You are not only failing yourself but also your marriage when you refuse to be honest. Gosh, I love the fact that my husband and I can be honest about our mental health, things that are bothering us, and even how good life is at times. Without that communication…my life would be so empty.
Those are just some little rules my husband and I live by, and damn do we love the crap out of each other!