Blogger, Depression, Military, PTSD

A Pinup’s Struggles with PTSD

Hello to everyone ❤️

I haven’t shared this yet, as it is something deeply personal to me and I struggled with the symptoms for quite some time before I finally sought help in 2010. See, while I was active duty I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder which is otherwise known as PTSD. I still suffer from the effects, and recently they have become exacerbated by my involvement with the VA.


PTSD is not as uncommon as you might think, with approximately 3 million new cases in the U.S. each year. My PTSD is sexual trauma related due to events both prior and during my service. It was the sexual trauma that occured during my service that caused my mental break down, which was in 2010.

While I’m not ready to speak of the actual events that transpired, I can attest to the months in which I lived in a perpetual state of fight or flight. At one point, I was so terrified for my life that my heart began to stutter. Something that ended up causing me severe issues during my pregnancy with my son.

As to the present day, I am now experiencing nightmares, night terrors, night paralysis, and sleepwalking. I am sickened and shocked when I see videos of myself walking around my house in the middle of the night. I appear zombie-like and robotic. Motioning towards unseen entities that manifest themselves in my dreams.

So what to do? I immediately brought up my nocturnal wanderings to my VA assigned therapist as I was concerned with the fact that I was not only walking around, but also opening the front door…and leaving it that way. I will undergo a sleep study, was prescribed medication for sleep, and I also have sought out some holistic help from a local Reiki Master.

I am hoping that either one or a combination of all things can help solve my nighttime episodes. I am just tired of being tired.

Have any of you suffered from symptoms such as mine? Please reach out if you have!

1 thought on “A Pinup’s Struggles with PTSD”

  1. *Huge hugs* I also suffer from PTSD (due to abuse throughout my life, including sexual assault), it can really make life feel unbearable sometimes and it’s something that can be so hard for people to understand unless they’ve been through it. I struggle nightmares, insomnia, night terrors, and used to deal with sleep paralysis on an almost nightly basis (thank goodness it’s been awhile since that has happened), along with flashbacks, hyper-vigilance (which is one of the hardest things for me to deal with, jumping at almost every sound with my heart racing, etc), panic attacks, mood problems, the list goes on and I’m sure you’ve experienced all if not most of the same things! I’m finally in therapy to try and deal with some of the more recent trauma, and my therapist has recommended that I see a doctor about going on medication for the anxiety and panic attacks. It’s a rough road, but we’re not alone.

    Sending you so much love. ❤

    P.s. I love your "Vixen Not a Victim" shirt by Micheline Pitt, by the way! I've been eyeing those tops for months myself! 🙂 I especially love that a good percentage of the profits on these shirts go to RAINN. 🙂


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